Who would have thought it? (and with a dodgy ticker too!)

Imagine this. There is a lovely old man in your street who you say hello to most days. You know that he lives on his own so sometimes you stop to say more than hello. On one of these occasions, whilst admiring his garden, he invites you to come in and have a look around his house.


 “There are lots of original features,” he says, trying to tempt you.


As someone who loves architecture (and having a good nose around other people’s homes), you jump at the chance – he’s a 92 year old man with a heart problem after all…what could happen?


He leads you into the kitchen. “Very nice,” you say, looking at the original stone floor. Upstairs is the sitting room; a beautiful mantelpiece and some very nice antiques. Your eyes dance around the room taking it all in, and then they fall upon a pile of well flicked through porn mags (about 50, to hazard a guess) on a chair next to the fire. Pretending you haven’t seen them, you edge your way towards the door saying how lovely it has been to have had a look around and that it is probably time that you made your way home.


“But you haven’t seen the bedroom yet,” says the old man with a twinkle in his eye.


“Oh I think I have seen quite enough,” you say, hot-footing it down the stairs.


As you make your way into the street outside, you bid the old man farewell and thank him again for having shared his home (and possibly his private life) with you. You then head off down the road, trying not to think too much about what he might get up to after you have gone.


So you tell me. What do you think this lovely old French man uses this type of literature for: lighting his fire or ____________ ? On second thoughts, please don’t answer that. I really don’t want to know. Honest…I don’t.




9 Responses

  1. it’s probably good for his circulation

  2. I suppose it is a bit like football. When you are young you enjoy playing it but when you get older you may get the odd kick around but mostly it is just watching it on the TV or reading about it in the newspapers.

    At the age of 92 I don’t think you should hold it against him (figuratively or literally).

  3. I’m glad it’s not just me who ends up in these “interesting” situations! I have a curiosity about anyone and everyone…needless to say I’ve had some narrow escapes!

  4. That’s too funny! He obviously still has that zest for life eh?

  5. That is hilarious. Perhaps he really does use them to light the fire – or someone else’s fire 🙂 Maybe he is the secret admirer?

  6. Rosie – I suppose that is one way of looking at it!
    Troy – Lovely to have a man’s point of view on this one. And don’t worry, I won’t hold it against him…in any shape, way or form.
    Hadriana – As they say, curiosity killed the cat. I think the pair of us need to watch out.
    Mom/Mum – Oh, yes. He definitely has that. Have since heard, that he asked another English girl into his house a few years back and pinched her bum. Am feeling a bit jealous now – what’s wrong with my bum???
    Frances – Secret admirer?……help.

  7. Ha ha ha. I love that he used the old ‘let me show you around my lovely home’ line in a bid to get you to his bedroom hoping to get you started by looking at some porn. The old devil…

  8. beurkkk !

  9. Whoa. You have some collection of elderly neighbours in France. The dirty devil trying to get you into his bedroom.

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