Reeling – Part 2

I have come to a decision. I am not going to confront my ex about K and her 6 yr old daughter (I forgot to mention that she has a daughter in my last post) moving in, I am going to wait for him to tell me. I have my reasons for this:


  1. If I initiate the conversation and an argument ensues, Sonny will feel to blame. As he is only 6, he is far too young to be having guilt trips over things he has said, or situations he has caused.
  2. My ex may tell Sonny off for telling me what goes on between him and K, and I wouldn’t want him to feel that he had to start keeping secrets, or to censor everything he said.
  3. If Sonny is happy with the situation (which I think he is) and my ownership rights remain unchanged (call to lawyer required), is it really such a big deal?


I suppose I am just annoyed that neither K nor my ex has had the decency to come and speak to me about it first – especially before they sat down and discussed it with the kids. To be honest, K probably doesn’t even know that I still own the house. My ex has always been very economical with the truth, and as we were never married, he could quite easily have said that the house belongs to him.


There are times when I wonder if K even knows why I left. If she did, she might not be so keen to move in. As my mum said, “give her six months, and she’ll be out of there like a shot.” That remains to be seen, but in the meantime I am going to take some legal advice and play this one very carefully indeed.


7 Responses

  1. You do what is right for you and Sonny TT. I admire you for putting him first and foremost and considering and protecting him. What a great Maman you are…
    Best wishes and lots of luck x

  2. 🙂 I’ll keep this reflexion of yours (about the kid’s guilt and secrets), for later, in case … that’s a great ‘plan’, probably the best you could do.

  3. Hello TT – think you are behaving as well as can be expected under the (very trying) circumstances. Wonderful of you to think about your boy especially the guilt stuff. Wait for explanations. Best way. Hxx

  4. Sounds like a good plan but I think legal advice is essential – especially if a child is going to potentially get any rights to live in the house. So make sure the lawyer knows about the 6 year old daughter.

  5. Think your thought process here is admirable and ten out of ten for immaculate behaviour…you’ll definitely stay on top of it by being careful. What shame that these things have to get so difficult and complicated. Stay cool. fx

  6. To everyone who has taken the time to comment so far, thank you. Your thoughts and kind words have really touched me. TTx

  7. oo trip trap to the lawyer smartish for some advice…and keep on playing it close to your chest. You are putting your son first and I am full of admiration.
    On another subject, glad to hear the TEFLing is working out

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