Son (to shiny new boyfriend): I want a brother.
Shiny new boyfriend (to son): Oh that’s nice.
Me (trying to change subject): So what do you two fancy for supper?
Son (pointing at more than ample bulge in shiny new boyfriend’s trousers): If put your zizi in my Mama’s kiki (now pointing at my essential equipment) you could make me a brother.
Shiny new boyfriend (bulge in trousers no longer visible): eeeeerm…..
Me (squirming): Toad in the hole anyone?…..nope. Didn’t think so.
That was over two years ago. Now the not-so-shiny-new boyfriend is up for the job. Mmmmmmm. It would seem I have some thinking to do.